That Round Thing in the Bathroom is NOT a Toilet

I just want to say that the title speaks for itself. I am not going in to details, but there was a little misunderstanding. Im assuming you can figure out what it is, but if you cant I will be more than happy to tell you about it one on one. That being said, I am now just a little bit wiser, and consider myself a better person for it.

So, Rome is amazing. Beautiful city with amazing piazzas and ruins. I turned a corner today and accidentally ran into the Coleseum (spelling?). How many times in your life can you say I accidentally ran into the freaking Coliseum (i tried a different spelling this time, just in case it was wrong the first)?

I had the best pizza of my life today. I made the decision that I would allow myself to eat pork, because, when in Rome..., for the first time in about fifteen years. Upon ordering my first pepperoni pizza I was in for a surprise. Apparently, over here, pepperoni means bell pepper. I couldnt even break the Big Guys law when I tried: Think someones trying to send me a hint? Well, I plan on trying again tomorrow, and if it doesnt work out this next time, Im becoming Orthodox. My waiter, however, stole the show.

He sat, as he was not serving myself and the other tabel outside, staring down women, and what amounts to barking at them as they walked by. Mind you it was a sexy bark, and I have no problem saying that, even about another man. I at one point purred at him, but realized that dogs hate cats (and remembered I was straight), so I stopped. My first reaction was- that is dispicable (said with a lisp). My second reaction was- lets see if this works, because I am not opposed to a mid-game strategy change. My third reaction- this is the closest I have ever been to truth in my life. Here is the explanation:

Finding someone to be with is based completely on lies. Women make themselves look like they normally dont look, and men make themselves act like they normally dont act in order to attract the opposite sex. Women lie physically to attract men because men are physical creatures. Men lie verbally to attract women because women are verbal creatures. (Please dont call me a chauvanist, you know its true, and the more you want to talk about it ladies, the more you prove me right).
This lying/period of dishonesty (however you like to rationalize it) is what I like to affectionately call-dating. Once we have lied enough to make the other person believe we are something we are not, we get married. This must be why 50% of marraiges end up in people not being married.

Now, this brilliant man decided to take the other route- he is going to act like the animal that he is, and when Ms. rite (spelling?) comes along, she is going to love him for the barking, chauvanist pig that he is. If he was anymore honest, we would have to make this asshole a saint. Hey, the Vatican is right down the road, and when in Rome...

p.s.- I had to say that at least once.

p.p.s.- If there are multiple errors here, the keyboards in europe are completely screwed up, and I asked for a glass of wine at dinner and they brought me a whole freaking tub of it, so you can figure out the rest. Well, screw it, I will tell you. I wasnt going to drink it all, and was about to send it back, but I figured, When in Rome...

Ciaow,

J-bird.